The Bundestag has rejected the draft legislation on euthanasia. The situation therefore remains unchanged for those who wish to die. How do those affected deal with it?
Harald Mayer sits in his wheelchair in front of the television. He keeps drinking water from a straw. For eight years he has only been able to move his head. The 52-year-old is strapped to a wheelchair so that he can maintain an upright position. With his chin he controls the television, on which the debate on euthanasia in the Bundestag will be broadcast in the morning.
He follows the speeches of the MPs with interest. What they are debating has to do with him. His desire to end his life.
Legal situation remains: “I think it’s good”
He is pleased that in the end neither of the two bills gets a majority: “I think that’s a good thing,” he says. Both drafts did not convince him, he explains. Because in both it was provided that those who wished to die had to undergo counseling. “I’m glad I don’t have to do that.”
Mayer decided a long time ago that he wanted to end his own life and that he wanted help to do so. When the Federal Constitutional Court overturned the ban on commercial promotion of suicide in 2020, he drew hope.
In the verdict, the judges emphasized the freedom of the individual and the associated right to a self-determined death, which paragraph 217 ultimately violated. “The freedom to take one’s own life also includes the freedom to seek help from third parties and to receive help if it is offered,” the judgment said. “The judgment inspired me,” says Mayer, however, he wants to take a specific drug to bring about his death: sodium pentobarbital.
Fight for drug for suicide
Together with lawyer Robert Roßbruch, the president of the German Society for Human Dying (DGHS), he has been fighting for the release of the drug for several years – “before the disease tortures me to death while I am fully conscious,” is how Mayer formulates his wish. He wants exactly this remedy because he can take it independently. At home, with people who are important to him.
To date, the competent Federal Institute for Drugs and Medical Devices (BfArM) has rejected Mayer’s application and more than 240 other applicants for sodium pentobarbital for the purpose of suicide because it violates the Narcotics Act. Mayer has since appealed against this decision through several instances. He is now waiting for a decision by the Federal Administrative Court in Leipzig, which is expected in October.
Mayer was diagnosed at the age of 27. His life has changed massively.
Around the clock dependent on care
Mayer was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at the age of 27 – a shock for him. Until then, he led a full life. He had a partner and worked as a firefighter at the US airbase in Ramstein. In his spare time he played guitar in various rock bands. The disease progressed and Mayer was soon dependent on a wheelchair. For a long time he was able to move his upper body, hands and arms and came to terms with his illness: “I was also able to take care of myself.” That hasn’t been the case for many years.
A team of assistants that he needs day and night accompanies him through his everyday life: “For really everything, if my head itches or if I want to eat something, I have to call someone. If I have pain in bed at night, I have to turn someone over. It’s very, very difficult.”
Feelings of loneliness and powerlessness
His condition makes him lonely, says Mayer, and his dependence on other people makes him despair. “I’m trapped in my body,” is how he expresses his condition. In the course of his decades-long medical history with countless hospital stays and rehabilitation measures, the desire for an “emergency exit” manifested itself in him: “What do I do when I can no longer stand the pain and suffering? What is still ahead of me?”
His greatest fear is suffocation due to possible end-stage respiratory paralysis. He doesn’t want to be fed artificially.
“We expected it”
Harald Mayer’s lawyer Roland Roßbach is not surprised by today’s decision by the Bundestag. “We expected it,” he explains, “and we don’t see any need for regulation on the subject of assisted suicide.” The judgment of the Federal Constitutional Court from 2020 offers sufficient legal certainty. He will continue to focus with Mayer on getting the drug sodium pentobarbital released. “We hope for the highest court decision before the Federal Administrative Court in Leipzig.”
Walk when his pain takes over
Harald Mayer thinks a lot about when he wants to end his life, he says. When asked if he still thinks it’s worth living in at the moment, he quickly and spontaneously replies: “Yes!” But he fears that could change quickly.
The course of the disease is unpredictable, his bladder is already not working anymore, he is afraid that other organs will fail. Deciding when is the right time to leave is difficult. But Harald Mayer wants to meet her himself.
Help with suicidal thoughts
If you are having suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately. With the anonymous telephone counseling service you will find contact persons around the clock.
Telephone numbers of the telephone counseling service: 0800/111 0 111 and 0800/111 0 222 www.telefonseelsorge.de
Telephone advice for children and young people: 116 111 – www.nummergegenkummer.de
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